Categories
life

Entitled.

So y’all know I started selling wine and educating people about wine as a side business. It’s been popping since COVID. I’ve been doing online parties or people who never ordered from me before decided to finally order (because they can’t take their ass into a grocery store now to buy wine).

I recently did a party and had the weirdest experience. The host was very much a wine drinker, and she said so were her friends. She even referred to themselves as winos. So I’m thinking, ok this is about to be a great event with good sales and a lot of fun.

The event starts and I realize they are all really into themselves. They sometimes make a comment or two that kind of comes off as rude to me, just by the way they say it.

But I kept my cool and continued with presenting the wines. The further along we got aka the more they drank, the more annoying they were!

By the end of the part, I was like these muhfuckas better order $100 a piece or I’m …

I started wrapping up and explained how to order. I then announced that I was ready to take orders and all I saw were blank faces.

Super fucking blank faces.

I set expectations with the Host before the event l, with the guests before and during the event.. how did this happen?

The host starts to get annoyed at the fact that I’m telling people to order. Then she starts talking to them in a lower voice where I can hardly hear. So I’m sitting there, uninvolved, and asked if anyone had any questions or anything. Then I pretty much got the “you’re dismissed” response.

Who the fuck do these people think they are? Did they look down on me for what I was doing?

It’s funny because at the beginning of the party we do a quick intro and I let them know what I really do for work and that wine is a side thing. I also told them where I went to college. Their faces could collapsed at the sound of that. Who would have thought a Black girl with tattoos was so educated…

Needless to say they were the most entitled group of “adults”. They were all in their 30s but acted 17. Times like this make me question a lot of things about having a side business that essentially is geared towards catering to people/helping them. Some people don’t deserve the quality of service I give.

I licked my wounds with a glass of red and went to sleep. Thankfully, I didn’t send the host a message out of rage!

Categories
faith life

One of the greatest things I’ve read in a long time…

www.bible.com/111/mat.21.22.niv

I have been skipping out on doing my daily bible readings and finally decided to open up the Bible App today. When I tell you it was spot on with my life, it was!

I have been praying about a better career for my husband, being able to get a bigger family car for us, and plenty of other things. All of them have happened or in the process of happening.

Recently, there was something in particular I was praying about, and it seemed like it was about to get set into motion. Then the good ol’ doubt and fear started to set in. I started thinking of all the reasons why it wouldn’t work and why I didn’t deserve it.

I hate when that happens. There’s no reason for me to all of a sudden think that the good stuff won’t happen for me when it’s been happening for a very long time now.

I’ve been through some shit.

Like some really tough shit that you would see in a movie or something.

But I always got back up, strong in my faith and didn’t question it. I didn’t know if things were going to work themselves out, but I was confident I would be ok and had faith.

And here I am, after living through many situations that I know have turned out amazing because of Him, all of a sudden doubting myself??

I’m so glad I read that segment today. It really was something I needed to hear. A great reminder that everything I need Him to do for me through prayer is always a success when I truly believe it will happen.

Maybe you needed to hear it too. God will be there for you and will answer your prayers. It may not be on your time, but it will happen.

Categories
life

Howdy.

I’m almost 8 weeks postpartum and I must say

Shit. Is. Real.

It’s not even baby stuff, it’s me. It’s personal stuff. It’s the way I feel. My anxiety is trying to make its debut, so I’m hitting the black and white. The good ol’ Bee El Oh Gee to bring me back to life.

What’s good y’all!?

Me? Oh I’ve just been hustling like my life depended on it. And no, I’m not slanging cocaine or ganja. I’m slanging wine!

I’ve invested in myself and started my wine business. It was slow to pickup at first, but now that I’m selling to strangers, business is good.

Isn’t that crazy? I find it hard to find support from the people who know me. Besides a handful of people, everyone else pretty much tells me to kick rocks. They share and post about fake news and wack ass celebrities but can’t take the millisecond to share one of my posts to support my business?

It’s utter bullshit to me, but I’m used to it now. It’s sad but it is what it is. Or it is what it ain’t, as my hubby says.

Beyond that, I’ve started http://www.ashleythewinosaur.com for all things wine related. I’m keeping this chocolate Sasquatch blog for my personal writings. My rants like this and poetry and shit. My Winosaur blog is for me to go on and on about the delicious ass wines that I have to offer and being a part of my team to make money doing the same thing.

I would love nothing more than to become very successful with my wine business, not only for myself and my family, but also just to see the look on everyone’s face.

It feels reeeeally good to accomplish something that every says you can’t. And I am SO ready for that day! I’m just going to be a patient and silent killer lol

So do me a favor, if you’ve read this far, please go to http://www.ashleythewinosaur.com and just subscribe! No need to even buy anything just subscribe and we’ll vibe from there.

Ha. Subscribe and vibe. That’s going to be my new catch phrase.

I’m outie ✌🏾

Categories
influencer life

The Preview App

Where are all my IG feigns??

So you probably are already using a badass app to keep your pics and ideas organized, but in case you aren’t:

Check out PREVIEW!

It’s in the App Store, not sure if it’s on Android. But it’s pretty easy to use and really helpful.

You can layout how you want your future posts to look, schedule them, pre write the caption and hashtags, save hashtag groups for quick and easy reuse, analytics, and a bunch of cool other stuff!

I’ve only been using it for a day or two now but am super happy with it. Even just with the free version. I have used other apps like this such as Planoly, but I am digging this one for now. It has built in filters to keep your images consistent WHICH IS KEY!

Check it out and let me know what you think.

And no, sadly, I was not paid to write this. I was just truly excited about the app!

Categories
life

32 Weeks Knocked Up

It’s that time already – 8 months pregnant today.

Can someone please tell me where time has gone?! I remember trying and then taking a million pregnancy tests every day until one finally turned positive! I was so impatient. I was testing before I should have. I’m sure a lot of women can relate.

Being pregnant is like stepping into another universe. I mean seriously, people look at you differently, treat you differently. And it’s awesome!

For the most part.

I could be in the grocery store or Target or something and a stranger will just walk up to me and tell me how great I look or how beautiful I am and wish me good luck on my pregnancy. So many strangers have told me congrats and asked me the routine prego questions:

  • How far long are you
  • Is it a boy or girl
  • When are you due
  • Why the hell are you pregnant during the summer???

Ya know, the basics.

But there are times, like now, where I’m currently swallowing the vomit that’s creeping up my throat. Not necessarily from nausea, it’s just baby boy is taking up so much of my belly, there’s not enough room for me to pig out. So naturally, my food creeps back up. Good thing the doc prescribed these magic pills…

Guess I’ll let these kick in and call it a night.

WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY SOON!

Categories
life

I Have To Remember

After I had my daughter, my perception of myself changed so drastically. I mean, I could walk out the house looking throwed and would still feel like I was the shit.

No makeup, crazy clothes, crazy hair. I owned it.

But now I find myself spending much more time critiquing and trying to perfect the woman in the mirror. Sometimes I’m not quite sure of the woman staring back at me.

She’s not as confident, cares about what her face looks like, cares about what her hair looks like. “Be you” they said. “Be natural” they said. Yea, but when someone judges and dislikes the natural you, it hurts. It sucks. Especially when you’re not really prepared for it.

Imagine being super confident and amazing pretty much your entire life (or at least thinking that you are), and then suddenly, all of that is gone. You second guess yourself, doubt your ability to be amazing. I’m past that part but still struggle with the ‘love yourself on the outside’ part sometimes.

I chopped all my hair off when we confirmed my pregnancy in January. I did the same thing when I was pregnant with my daughter. The hormones help me rock some beautiful curly, natural hair. And the fact that I can’t perm my hair while pregnant keeps me treating my hair nicely, no harsh chemicals.

But it’s not all cupcakes and roses. I have only worn my hair natural to work for about the first 2 weeks after I chopped it. Why? Mainly because people don’t know how to act. Yes, I’m talking to you, white people. Yall act like it’s a got damn magic trick if I come in to work with different hair. I would change it up every other day if I could…but that’s expensive lol. Hair is like an accessory for Black women; get over it. You can do the same also. And I’m not talking about all white people, but about 97% of the people who react negatively or weirdly to a change in hairstyle for me are white. I have a tendency to go off on people lately, so I try to safeguard the issue and not ‘provoke’ yall with a change in hairdo. Lately I haven’t been caring, though, and have just been doing what I want. It’s felt pretty good. It hasn’t been me rocking my natural hair, though. I’m just not feeling it anymore…

But it’s not just the hair. My face is changing as my pregnancy progresses. It’s so funny, people say “omg you’re glowing” and this and that. Ummm no, that glow is from the blush that I applied this morning! When I really am ‘glowing’, it’s from the nausea and vomit I’m trying to keep down; all the blood and hormone changes create that glow.

All in all, I’m doing way better this pregnancy than I did with my daughter. I carried the weight a lot worse and had more issues. This pregnancy with baby boy has been textbook, and I think the good Lord for that every dang day.

I have so much more confidence than I did when I first had my daughter; postpartum is real! You don’t realize it’s affecting you until you’re pretty much neck deep in issues.

I just have to remember that I bounced back before and will bounce back again. I have to remember I am beautiful inside and out no matter what hormonal spout I’m feeling that day. I have to remember I am the shit.

Categories
life

This is a good thing

Ever feel like you just really don’t know what you’re supposed to be doing anymore? Not in a bad way, but just a “it is what it is” type of way. Like, lately I’ve been trying to figure out how to balance all the things that I want to do and find myself struggling to just nail down THE ONE the I care most about doing.

Writing and music have always been and will always be near and dear to my heart. Being a mom and entrepreneur are also important to me. So I’m trying to figure out how to blend all of that together into one platform to satisfy this weird ‘unsatisfactory’ feeling I’ve been having. I think this is the answer though!

I always find myself continuing to come back to WordPress. The format. The community. The platform. It just feels right. So I know that this is the first big step in righting (ha, writing) the wrong.

And incorporating music back into my life more. I’ve been trying to help manage some musician friends, but hadn’t really made any strides. It’s been a bum situation, but now it’s like, do I keep pushing forward or just back off and do something else? I think for now, things will just stay as is and I’ll slowly but surely get more and more involved.

I just have to remember to be realistic. My family comes first above all this. Everything else will fall in place, I guess. I’ve moved my entertainment website back to WordPress and my personal one. It feels relieving already. I’m getting in the habit of making at least one entertainment post per day to keep my socials active, too.

This is a good thing…this is a good thing…

Categories
life

Float or Stay

A stuck stick in the mud.
Willing but unable to move.
Watching the other branches sway.
Leaves sprouting.

Efforts to be excellent.
Lost to being the best stuck.

Clouds go dark.
Branches break and blow away.
The sky opens, releases refreshing waves.

Stuck no more.
Grounded, instead.
Loose enough to make a choice.
Float or stay.

Float or stay.

Categories
life

Express. Yourself.

Expressing yourself can be hard as fuck sometimes. Especially when you don’t have something necessarily good to say.

But in hindsight, it’s better to at least try. Though the convo may not play out as you thought/planned, hell at least you tried. At least you put forth the effort to let the other person know what was on your mind, on your heart.

And if they can’t appreciate the value in that, then there’s something wrong with them, not you.

Communication is so important on every level of life. Sometimes we get so caught up in the fact that someone is saying something ‘negative’ and we forget to even just appreciate the fact that they’re expressing themselves. Allowing themselves to express how they feel.

And don’t let the fact that previous conversations turned into arguments keep you from listening to them.

Listen to respond, not to react.

I believe people can change, for good or bad, but they can change. So every conversation isn’t going to be like the one before. You or they don’t always have to be the villain in the situation. Maybe they fuckin figured it out and actually just want to tell you something that’s concerning them. They felt safe enough to tell you, so respect that and embrace the connection rather than whatever ‘negativity‘ you feel coming from it. Don’t get upset, just connect and understand them.

Express yourself.
Embrace change.
Believe in love.

Categories
life

It’s been a day.

It’s been a day.

Conversations put on the back-burner to like and comment instead. It’s too much to ask for a text reply to your expression of love.

It’s been a day.

Watching someone else take the victory over you, the once queen of the hive now turned worker bee.

It’s been a day.

Physically feeling your mental disturbance; life’s nausea has you in a choke hold, fighting to breathe.

It’s been a day.