But Like, Why?

Why are there so many people deciding to just pop up and pop off?

My mom sent a message in our fam group text last night –

Let’s pause and acknowledge how amazing family group texts are. Especially mine! We’re weird creatures of life and it’s allll captured in this private little story amongst ourselves!

Anyways, she sends this text and it’s basically a news report of Mr. Jose Gilberto Rodriguez and how he’s going around Houston murdering people.

Yes, M-U-R-D-E-R-I-N-G people.

Like wtf is this guy’s problem? Wasn’t held enough as a child? He killed a woman at a Mattress Firm! Dude, she was trying to find a comfy place to rest her head each night, not picking out a casket. That’s so messed up, it makes me nauseous!

No matter how corrupt and unhappy you are in your life, you should never seek to ratify that by taking someone else’s life. It’s disgusting and pathetic. Someone needs to go take this guy out ASAP.

One of my coworkers is a vet who would love nothing more than to give him ‘due process’ via a bullet to the back of his head. And that’s brave of this man to do it in a place like Texas where he can be shot by a bystander with their license to carry!

We have to protect each other! Let’s get this maniac off our streets please; I got shit I gotta do!

 // UPDATE!! //

Police caught this sadistic MF this morning! 3 Cheers for the po-po. [never thought I’d say that…]

 

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Successful Lunch Break

Currently reading the top book, Year One. Hopefully I’ll knock that out by the weekend to start a new one! Loved Ishmael but want to reread it!

Picked up these puppies on my lunch break with some coworkers. Yuhhhh

The Alpha Bet

An anxious and

bitter boy

can’t catch the

darting dollars

effortlessly erupting

five feet from the

Gilmore Girls’

House. He

immediately investigates by imitating

joyously jumping

kangaroos, kicking

like leaping lemurs in

Madagascar. Meanwhile,

Neighbors notice this

open opportunity

passing, prompting

quiet a few questions

regarding the residents on

Sycamore Street in Sydney.

Then through an

unannounced unanimous

vote, the vault’s value

withered in wealth as it withdrew

Xerox’d

Yen, yielding

zero Zen.

Let’s Talk About Nancy

You ever have that one person, that one person who always seems to say the most negative things? About everything?

It’s like damn B, you don’t need to have an ugly ass personality to match your ugly ass face.

Negative Nancy needs a new outlook on life.

I’ve got a half-eaten Nature Valley bar ready to throw at Nancy’s trifling ass head right now! And I was doing so good, yall, about not being this way. I said I wasn’t going to talk shit about people anymore, but daaaaamn Nancy is triflin!

Is it because I’m younger and Nancy is older, already seen the happiest days of her life, peaked in high school (if that), and now dreads waking up to look in the mirror at the reflection of the biggest disappointment she knows?

Like, what!? Haha, I know that was harsh, I was venting. Nancy brings out my asshole tendencies. Everybody has a weakness, I’m still working on mine.

“Please be with me today, Lord, as I walk through the valley of trifling Nancys”

How do you deal with the people who just rub you the wrong way? Do you have to work with them? Are they family?

I guess I’m still sick

It’s been almost 2 weeks since I first started feeling sick and still haven’t fully gotten over it I guess. 

First it was a sore throat.

Then I got a wicked migraine. 

Now it’s full blow fever and chills!

I actually went to the ER yesterday to have a full comp done. 

It’s not meningitis, everybody. 

Again, the say I have a virus. Which virus, you say? Who the fuck knows. I feel like it’s some secret, undercover experiment I somehow became a part of…ha

This is the best I have felt all day, though, so I’m looking up to that. I definitely have to take it easy though. As soon as I start moving around, I feel terrible. 

Almost paid $299 for a job

Yep, you read it right.
Maaaaybe I’m stringing you along, but that’s essentially what almost happened!

I have LinkedIn like a lot of people, but I hardly use it [like a lot of people]. I was on a massive job hunt and decided to put it to use, as I was serious about finding another job. I upgraded to the premium subscription and got the advanced messaging features to reach out to potential employers. I only intended to use it for the free trial. I ALMOST didn’t unsubscribe in time and would have had to pay $299 for the subscription! Granted, I’m sure that’s the yearly rate, but fuck [ha BUTTfuck].

I don’t know about you, but I don’t think it’s worth $299 to have a few extra features and visibility. Do you think the price is too steep, as well? That’s about 25 bucks per month which is how much I pay for Netflix and Spotify family plan combined. I use those programs every day! Geez…Needless to say I had a major heart attack.

Crisis averted.

The Dream

I have messed up dreams every once in a while, but last night’s was most peculiar. I can’t get the image out of my head! I can’t remember most of it, per usual, but the part I do remember will probably haunt me in my sleep again tonight.

It was my oldest sister (age 36 FYI).
And a man.
Not like that, though.

There was this guy laying on a bed in a corner of a very large room. It looked like a large living room of sorts. I think my other sisters and my mom were in this living room with me. I get the feeling that we all knew where my oldest sister was, but no one said anything.

All of a sudden, my oldest sister’s head popped out of the man as if he was giving birth to her!

Shoulders, breasts, stomach, legs, feet…she was out!

Yall, she popped out of there and turned to us and said “hey, what’s up, everybody”. He gave birth to my full grown sister. Then he started pushing on his stomach, which was now gaping open, as if he was trying to close it back together. We all stared at my sister.

Naked. Glossy with some kind of body juice [gag].

It was like we all knew she was incubating or something inside of him. And we knew it was a daily thing, somewhat of a romantic gesture between him and her where she would crawl inside and sleep there or something, and he would push her out after.

That’s all I remember, unfortunately [or maybe fortunately]. Don’t ask me what the hell it means, because I really don’t have a clue about this one. Take a shot at interpreting it if you want, and leave your ideas in a comment if you’re feeling bold! C’mon. Entertain me.