One day, you wake up and decide that you want something better for yourself. You decide that you’re going to stick up for yourself and say “no” when you really want to. Everyone else seems to have no problem telling you “no” or disregarding you, so why can’t you do it back to them?
would that be fighting fire with fire?
You would be treating them as they treated you. Remember the elementary saying “treat others like you want to be treated”? Well, if they treat you like that, then they must want to be treated that way!
You want to get a job but you don’t have a car yet. It’s not a problem though, because your sister said “oh yeah, no problem, use my car, I’m never in it anyway”. By the way, she’s not working right now. So both of you are job hunting, everything is fine. She gets an opportunity from an old co-worker to work with her. You still haven’t found a job just yet, but you’re on to something.
So you go with your sister to all the places she has to go for her job –picking up paperwork, filling it out, helping her detox her body to pass her drug test, going downtown with her to get a social security card, etc. She finishes all the stuff she needs done and passes her drug test. Then you find a job, too and you start immediately. She says she’s happy for you and this and that. She doesn’t start work until about a month from now.
Well, about 5 days pass and you’re in the groove of your job. You don’t work until the end of the day, so she asks you to go with her to her job to fill out paperwork (job is about 25 mins away) so you go to keep her company.
She says it’ll be quick and that she’s just running in to fill out some paperwork. She gets out the car and walks to the employee area–somewhere you don’t have access to, and you don’t even know where she went.
An hour and 20 mins pass when her co-worker who got her the job–you know her, she did your hair–comes to the car and tells you come wait inside for her. Did I mention it’s over 100 degrees outside?
As soon as you get to the area where she was, she comes out and says she’s done. You’re upset, pissed. But you casually accept her apology, laugh it off, and get in the car to go home.
When you get home, her boss calls and tells her to start working immediately.
Your shifts don’t work out where the car will be home for you to go to work. You ask if you can drop her off to work so you can go to work and not get fired. She says no because she doesn’t want to wait for anyone to pick her up.
So you don’t have a ride for work the next day and you start worrying. All the while, she’s getting prepared for her day at work tomorrow by asking to borrow your shoes and wear your watch and asks you to set an alarm to wake you up to come wake her up–2 days later you tell her you refuse to set an alarm to wake you up to then go wake her up and that she can just use your alarm to wake herself up and she gets an attitude and gets mad at you.
She doesn’t worry about how you’re getting to work, all she cares about is her fantasy world where everything is perfect for her and goes her way.
You find a way to work for the next day, luckily.
That weekend, she complains about people using her stuff and one time says “yea you can drop me off to work as long as you put gas in the car”. That would be a lot since she works very far away and you only work down the street from home. Then when she asks to use your lotion–which she has been using for the past weeks for herself and her kids– you say “yea as long as you pitch in when I go buy another bottle” because she uses it just as much as you do. And she gets mad that you would say such a thing.
How do you people live in such a fantasy world? How can you think life is that perfect for you?
It’s because people don’t tell you “no” to spare themselves of the ignorant response you would give them.
Don’t bother trying to please them and their ignorance. Say “no”, ignore their tantrum, and get on with your life. I had to learn the hard way that no one is going to care about you as much as you care about yourself (except God). So expect nothing from others, even your boyfriend of several years and your parents and siblings. Give yourself the respect you deserve and demand it from others when they don’t rightfully give it (take that with a grain of salt; you don’t really want to “demand” respect. Just don’t get ran over)