Howdy.

I’m almost 8 weeks postpartum and I must say

Shit. Is. Real.

It’s not even baby stuff, it’s me. It’s personal stuff. It’s the way I feel. My anxiety is trying to make its debut, so I’m hitting the black and white. The good ol’ Bee El Oh Gee to bring me back to life.

What’s good y’all!?

Me? Oh I’ve just been hustling like my life depended on it. And no, I’m not slanging cocaine or ganja. I’m slanging wine!

I’ve invested in myself and started my wine business. It was slow to pickup at first, but now that I’m selling to strangers, business is good.

Isn’t that crazy? I find it hard to find support from the people who know me. Besides a handful of people, everyone else pretty much tells me to kick rocks. They share and post about fake news and wack ass celebrities but can’t take the millisecond to share one of my posts to support my business?

It’s utter bullshit to me, but I’m used to it now. It’s sad but it is what it is. Or it is what it ain’t, as my hubby says.

Beyond that, I’ve started http://www.ashleythewinosaur.com for all things wine related. I’m keeping this chocolate Sasquatch blog for my personal writings. My rants like this and poetry and shit. My Winosaur blog is for me to go on and on about the delicious ass wines that I have to offer and being a part of my team to make money doing the same thing.

I would love nothing more than to become very successful with my wine business, not only for myself and my family, but also just to see the look on everyone’s face.

It feels reeeeally good to accomplish something that every says you can’t. And I am SO ready for that day! I’m just going to be a patient and silent killer lol

So do me a favor, if you’ve read this far, please go to http://www.ashleythewinosaur.com and just subscribe! No need to even buy anything just subscribe and we’ll vibe from there.

Ha. Subscribe and vibe. That’s going to be my new catch phrase.

I’m outie ✌🏾

The Preview App

Where are all my IG feigns??

So you probably are already using a badass app to keep your pics and ideas organized, but in case you aren’t:

Check out PREVIEW!

It’s in the App Store, not sure if it’s on Android. But it’s pretty easy to use and really helpful.

You can layout how you want your future posts to look, schedule them, pre write the caption and hashtags, save hashtag groups for quick and easy reuse, analytics, and a bunch of cool other stuff!

I’ve only been using it for a day or two now but am super happy with it. Even just with the free version. I have used other apps like this such as Planoly, but I am digging this one for now. It has built in filters to keep your images consistent WHICH IS KEY!

Check it out and let me know what you think.

And no, sadly, I was not paid to write this. I was just truly excited about the app!

32 Weeks Knocked Up

It’s that time already – 8 months pregnant today.

Can someone please tell me where time has gone?! I remember trying and then taking a million pregnancy tests every day until one finally turned positive! I was so impatient. I was testing before I should have. I’m sure a lot of women can relate.

Being pregnant is like stepping into another universe. I mean seriously, people look at you differently, treat you differently. And it’s awesome!

For the most part.

I could be in the grocery store or Target or something and a stranger will just walk up to me and tell me how great I look or how beautiful I am and wish me good luck on my pregnancy. So many strangers have told me congrats and asked me the routine prego questions:

  • How far long are you
  • Is it a boy or girl
  • When are you due
  • Why the hell are you pregnant during the summer???

Ya know, the basics.

But there are times, like now, where I’m currently swallowing the vomit that’s creeping up my throat. Not necessarily from nausea, it’s just baby boy is taking up so much of my belly, there’s not enough room for me to pig out. So naturally, my food creeps back up. Good thing the doc prescribed these magic pills…

Guess I’ll let these kick in and call it a night.

WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY SOON!

It’s been a day.

It’s been a day.

Conversations put on the back-burner to like and comment instead. It’s too much to ask for a text reply to your expression of love.

It’s been a day.

Watching someone else take the victory over you, the once queen of the hive now turned worker bee.

It’s been a day.

Physically feeling your mental disturbance; life’s nausea has you in a choke hold, fighting to breathe.

It’s been a day.

365 DoK: Day 11 & 12

Day 11:

I went to Walmart to pick up my groceries (yes I order and pick up my groceries from Walmart. It’s easy and convenient and keeps me from buying excess crap!)

Like always, it’s a cluster during rush hour traffic. I wasn’t in a rush or hurry, so I let some people go before me to enter the parking lot and let people pass to go onto the street.

Day 12:

Hmmm I’m not sure what kindness I did today lol honestly i never even left my house today.

Maybe I impacted someone on social media or a simple convo I had today and just am unaware?

Who knows. I don’t see it as a failure, though.

Is it even possible to do something kind every single day for a year?

We shall freaking see.

365 DoK: Day 9 & 10

Day 9

I was on my way home, after staying a little late at work one day. I was almost home when I saw that traffic was backed up because of a wreck.

Of course cars were trying to get over and merge, and Houston isn’t the greatest at merging. Well, one car was really trying to get over, the right way, blinkers and everything.

So I decided to be nice and let them over since no one else would!

Day 10

Today, I want to recognize my husband for doing something so kind.

I wanted some Snickers ice cream, so he went to Walgreens to grab a box.

When he got home, he told me there was a man with his son, asking someone for money. They could have just said no, but they were rude and obnoxious about it.

Well, the man ended up asking Johnny, as well. Instead of giving the man cash, which he didn’t have any on him, he bought the stuff the man was trying to pay for.

Apple juice and cheezits for his son.

Melted my heart. I’m so happy I married someone who can empathize and give. He helps me be kinder on my meaner days lol

Keep spreading love, y’all.

6lack Concert – 12.15.2018

One of my best friends told me a few months ago that she got tickets to the 6lack concert: East Atlanta Love Letter.

FRIEND DATE!

I hadn’t really listened to his music until she mentioned him, so I downloaded the album on good ol’ Spotify and listened to it. It wasn’t bad! I wasn’t emotionally invested in it, but it wasn’t bad music. Definitely vibing.

I hadn’t listened to the album again until earlier that day of the concert.

So the day finally comes, and we meet up to head to the venue. On the way there, she admits that she listened to some songs earlier in the day and was shocked that she was ever so emotional about it all, haha!

But we both agreed it was still cool music and worth vibing to.

We arrive at the venue and are surprised to get PRIME PARKING. Like, right next to the entrance. Mind you, it’s freaking cold outside and with the wind blowing, ugh. We were dying. 

So up close parking was a huge, shocking win.

We get out of the car to stand in the LONG line and are starting to see a trend of the attendees.

THEY WERE CHILDREN!

Like not even kidding, some of them brought their moms! We look at each other like “what the actual fuck is going on??”

The line wraps around the block, and as we walk, they just keep getting younger and younger! 

Ok, so earlier, my husband was like “yea baby get them free drinks”! He was encouraging me to not dip into our money and let the strangers do the work; he gets me ♥ 

After seeing the crowd, I immediately thought “There’s no way in hell I’m getting free drinks tonight, no one is of age!” They would literally need to be selling juice boxes and soda tonight! I even FaceTime’d him to prove that these were legit kids here. He was dying of laughter [and probably felt bad].

I realized as we were standing in line that the reason we got such great parking was because no one had a freaking driver license! lol We were laughing so hard, oh my gosh…

I know I’m exaggerating a little bit, but this was some epic stuff happening.

We finally get inside the venue and things are too bad. There were some older people getting drinks from the bar. The line definitely wasn’t long, haha!

We had general admin tickets for the floor, so we wandered around to comfortable spot in the back and sdtarted people watching. These kids wore all kinds of crazy ridiculous stuff that probably cost a lot of money to look stupid. 

It was truly an experience, and I’m glad I got to experience it with her. It turned out to be a fun night, but we definitely learned not to buy tickets on impulse and to research the artist’s demographics beforehand!

♥ // C.S.

Let’s Talk About Nancy

You ever have that one person, that one person who always seems to say the most negative things? About everything?

It’s like damn B, you don’t need to have an ugly ass personality to match your ugly ass face.

Negative Nancy needs a new outlook on life.

I’ve got a half-eaten Nature Valley bar ready to throw at Nancy’s trifling ass head right now! And I was doing so good, yall, about not being this way. I said I wasn’t going to talk shit about people anymore, but daaaaamn Nancy is triflin!

Is it because I’m younger and Nancy is older, already seen the happiest days of her life, peaked in high school (if that), and now dreads waking up to look in the mirror at the reflection of the biggest disappointment she knows?

Like, what!? Haha, I know that was harsh, I was venting. Nancy brings out my asshole tendencies. Everybody has a weakness, I’m still working on mine.

“Please be with me today, Lord, as I walk through the valley of trifling Nancys”

How do you deal with the people who just rub you the wrong way? Do you have to work with them? Are they family?

Chicken Wangs and Naked Thangs

Woops, there goes a drunk phone call to the one who makes my stomach hurt from laughing.

A brilliant mistake. Like Sticky Notes. 

Our mix matched convo like picking a pair of socks in the dark. It’s a debacle of humor and gore. No no no, you’re not ready!

Why is he naked eating chicken wings? Your guess is as good as mine. But it’s quite a feat to chow down on some delicious pollo covered in whatever wonderful sauce you can dream up while standing in the nude. Bravo to you, champ; bravo to you. If only Bdubs would allow me to enjoy my Humpday Happy Hour with my Jammin Jalapeno and drank while letting the girls hang loose…glory days I tell ya.

What a good fuckin day. I had wings, alcoholic beverages, surrounded by friends, and ended the night talking to myyyy nigga.
Cunt, you better visit in 2 weeks or all Hell will break loose. 

Kirk Franklin just came on my Spotify hahahaha I feel like I’m sinning by drunk blogging. NEXT! lmao!

Birthday Recovery update per request of Har+New:
I survived! I chugged a Dosarita on the way to Piola’s. Had wine for $3 you call it at Piola’s then wandered down to Taps for some sexy ass Bingo. Every time they call 069, it’s free shots!! Plus it was my birthday so that was just shots shots shots!
Went to get my nose pierced after Taps then went out to Lumens? It got fuzzy at that point. All I know is I bust my ass at some point and woke up with a pierced nose, a swollen forehead, busted lip and tender ears (had just gotten my second hole recently). In the past few weeks, I’ve gotten a nose ring, 2 extra holes in each ear, and a tattoo. #winning. 

I’m damned tired. Bye Felicia.

C.S.

how I blog

In deep thought with a glass of wine

soft music, slow beats

killed a baby spider with a towel and nearly threw the towel away

chatting with old friends from college, planning a trip to visit

sounds like a car just ran into something

spaghetti for dinner, having seconds now

“these streets will make you feel brand new”

text after text in this group chat, that’s what best friends do

alright, time to post….