One of the greatest things I’ve read in a long time…

www.bible.com/111/mat.21.22.niv

I have been skipping out on doing my daily bible readings and finally decided to open up the Bible App today. When I tell you it was spot on with my life, it was!

I have been praying about a better career for my husband, being able to get a bigger family car for us, and plenty of other things. All of them have happened or in the process of happening.

Recently, there was something in particular I was praying about, and it seemed like it was about to get set into motion. Then the good ol’ doubt and fear started to set in. I started thinking of all the reasons why it wouldn’t work and why I didn’t deserve it.

I hate when that happens. There’s no reason for me to all of a sudden think that the good stuff won’t happen for me when it’s been happening for a very long time now.

I’ve been through some shit.

Like some really tough shit that you would see in a movie or something.

But I always got back up, strong in my faith and didn’t question it. I didn’t know if things were going to work themselves out, but I was confident I would be ok and had faith.

And here I am, after living through many situations that I know have turned out amazing because of Him, all of a sudden doubting myself??

I’m so glad I read that segment today. It really was something I needed to hear. A great reminder that everything I need Him to do for me through prayer is always a success when I truly believe it will happen.

Maybe you needed to hear it too. God will be there for you and will answer your prayers. It may not be on your time, but it will happen.

Howdy.

I’m almost 8 weeks postpartum and I must say

Shit. Is. Real.

It’s not even baby stuff, it’s me. It’s personal stuff. It’s the way I feel. My anxiety is trying to make its debut, so I’m hitting the black and white. The good ol’ Bee El Oh Gee to bring me back to life.

What’s good y’all!?

Me? Oh I’ve just been hustling like my life depended on it. And no, I’m not slanging cocaine or ganja. I’m slanging wine!

I’ve invested in myself and started my wine business. It was slow to pickup at first, but now that I’m selling to strangers, business is good.

Isn’t that crazy? I find it hard to find support from the people who know me. Besides a handful of people, everyone else pretty much tells me to kick rocks. They share and post about fake news and wack ass celebrities but can’t take the millisecond to share one of my posts to support my business?

It’s utter bullshit to me, but I’m used to it now. It’s sad but it is what it is. Or it is what it ain’t, as my hubby says.

Beyond that, I’ve started http://www.ashleythewinosaur.com for all things wine related. I’m keeping this chocolate Sasquatch blog for my personal writings. My rants like this and poetry and shit. My Winosaur blog is for me to go on and on about the delicious ass wines that I have to offer and being a part of my team to make money doing the same thing.

I would love nothing more than to become very successful with my wine business, not only for myself and my family, but also just to see the look on everyone’s face.

It feels reeeeally good to accomplish something that every says you can’t. And I am SO ready for that day! I’m just going to be a patient and silent killer lol

So do me a favor, if you’ve read this far, please go to http://www.ashleythewinosaur.com and just subscribe! No need to even buy anything just subscribe and we’ll vibe from there.

Ha. Subscribe and vibe. That’s going to be my new catch phrase.

I’m outie ✌🏾

32 Weeks Knocked Up

It’s that time already – 8 months pregnant today.

Can someone please tell me where time has gone?! I remember trying and then taking a million pregnancy tests every day until one finally turned positive! I was so impatient. I was testing before I should have. I’m sure a lot of women can relate.

Being pregnant is like stepping into another universe. I mean seriously, people look at you differently, treat you differently. And it’s awesome!

For the most part.

I could be in the grocery store or Target or something and a stranger will just walk up to me and tell me how great I look or how beautiful I am and wish me good luck on my pregnancy. So many strangers have told me congrats and asked me the routine prego questions:

  • How far long are you
  • Is it a boy or girl
  • When are you due
  • Why the hell are you pregnant during the summer???

Ya know, the basics.

But there are times, like now, where I’m currently swallowing the vomit that’s creeping up my throat. Not necessarily from nausea, it’s just baby boy is taking up so much of my belly, there’s not enough room for me to pig out. So naturally, my food creeps back up. Good thing the doc prescribed these magic pills…

Guess I’ll let these kick in and call it a night.

WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY SOON!

It’s been a day.

It’s been a day.

Conversations put on the back-burner to like and comment instead. It’s too much to ask for a text reply to your expression of love.

It’s been a day.

Watching someone else take the victory over you, the once queen of the hive now turned worker bee.

It’s been a day.

Physically feeling your mental disturbance; life’s nausea has you in a choke hold, fighting to breathe.

It’s been a day.

Rejection

Nothing more bothersome than expressing yourself so clearly that there is no doubt about what you want or need, yet the person on the other end doesn’t oblige and acts clueless.

But are they really clueless? Or just fuckin with you? Or they don’t care?

A “yes” to any of those reasons is a red flag. A sad sad red flag that equates to “what the fuck am I doing here!?”

Why do we persist with mediocre satisfaction and half answered questions? With somewhat broken promises and never learned lessons?

Needing some divine intervention. Some love. Some hope.

365 DoK: Day 11 & 12

Day 11:

I went to Walmart to pick up my groceries (yes I order and pick up my groceries from Walmart. It’s easy and convenient and keeps me from buying excess crap!)

Like always, it’s a cluster during rush hour traffic. I wasn’t in a rush or hurry, so I let some people go before me to enter the parking lot and let people pass to go onto the street.

Day 12:

Hmmm I’m not sure what kindness I did today lol honestly i never even left my house today.

Maybe I impacted someone on social media or a simple convo I had today and just am unaware?

Who knows. I don’t see it as a failure, though.

Is it even possible to do something kind every single day for a year?

We shall freaking see.

365 DoK: Day 9 & 10

Day 9

I was on my way home, after staying a little late at work one day. I was almost home when I saw that traffic was backed up because of a wreck.

Of course cars were trying to get over and merge, and Houston isn’t the greatest at merging. Well, one car was really trying to get over, the right way, blinkers and everything.

So I decided to be nice and let them over since no one else would!

Day 10

Today, I want to recognize my husband for doing something so kind.

I wanted some Snickers ice cream, so he went to Walgreens to grab a box.

When he got home, he told me there was a man with his son, asking someone for money. They could have just said no, but they were rude and obnoxious about it.

Well, the man ended up asking Johnny, as well. Instead of giving the man cash, which he didn’t have any on him, he bought the stuff the man was trying to pay for.

Apple juice and cheezits for his son.

Melted my heart. I’m so happy I married someone who can empathize and give. He helps me be kinder on my meaner days lol

Keep spreading love, y’all.

The Power of Now

So I’m currently listening to an Audible book called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It may seem like a “self help lah dee dah” book to some of you, but I’m really diggin it!

Here’s the synopsis/blurb about the book:

To make the journey into the Now we will need to leave our analytical mind and its false created self, the ego, behind. From the very first page of Eckhart Tolle’s extraordinary book, we move rapidly into a significantly higher altitude where we breathe a lighter air. We become connected to the indestructible essence of our Being, “The eternal, ever present One Life beyond the myriad forms of life that are subject to birth and death.” Although the journey is challenging, Eckhart Tolle uses simple language and an easy question and answer format to guide us. A word of mouth phenomenon since its first publication, The Power of Now is one of those rare books with the power to create an experience in readers, one that can radically change their lives for the better.

I appreciate how simple it is to understand what he’s saying, he gives some really good explanations and anecdotes. He just talked about a cool experiment to try in regards to presence, and I wanted to share it.

Close your eyes and say to yourself “I wonder what my next thought is going to be”. Then become alert and wait for the next thought like a cat watching a mouse hole wondering what thought will come out of the mouse hole.

….

Did it take you some time before a new thought came to mind? It did for me! I love stuff like this, can’t wait to finish the book. Let me know if you happen to have read it before or plan to! #virtualbookclub lol

365 DoK: Day 3

I have to stop doing these late posts 🤦🏾‍♀️

My kind gesture for the day was getting a coworker some chapstick.

Seriously!

She had been searching for the same kind I use – Ecolips Mongongo oil. But when we went to look for it in the store where I got mine, they weren’t there anymore. She had been searching and searching for it, but no luck.

So today I ordered some more for myself and decided to get enough for her, too 💕

Simple but effective. She was very appreciative.

Good night, fools.

365 DoK: Day 1 & 2

I kind of messed up and decided right before bed to finally write this post, but

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

As I mentioned before, I’m practicing 365 Days of Kindness (DoK) for 2019. I’m going to try not to be a sourpuss anymore [ha!]

Day 1: We were over at my sister’s house for New Year’s, and I realized that she has her security system and cameras and everything, but no smart home device like Alexa or Google Home. Not that it’s necessary, but I definitely love the ease of asking a multitude of questions and instantly getting an answer. And I just so happen to have this extra Google Home mini laying around, unopened, sooooo. I gave it to her.

Day 2: This one isn’t anything crazy. Just sent my little sister some cash. I could have said no, but I didn’t, so see! Baby steps.

I wonder how hard it’ll be kind on like Day 245. What more is there to do? Haha, I mean I know I don’t have to give something every time, but really. I feel like I’m going to have to create instances of kindness rather than just acting on opportunities. Who knows.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings. Maybe you’ll pick up on my vibes and do something kind also?

OH and I started using this app called Fabulous, and it really has been fabulous! It’s helping me develop routines/good habits. I’ve been drinking water the first thing when I wake up, and today was the third day.

I freaking had a salad for lunch then came home and worked out! How productive right! We also bought a couch and I got a shnazzy new cute as hell planner. Trying out the Agenda 52 brand. Hobby Lobby didn’t have a great selection of the Happy Planner that I was looking for.

Anywhoozle. Good Night.