I Got Wasted The Other Day

I’m not even going to lie, I was messed up. Like bad. I could hardly walk the next day I was so hungover lmao so what had happened was…

I was supposed to go out with some gal pals, but we rescheduled for another day, cool. I was already getting dressed, so I told my hubby “let’s go out”. He didn’t hesitate and got ready right away. Well…

While I was getting ready, I decided to have some of the Mai Tai pre-mixed drinks. These suckers are 12.5% alcohol.

I had 2.

Then my mom came over, the kids got settled, we left for the bar. Luckily we went to a bar that was 2 minutes away (I probably would have thrown up in my car).

While we were there, we had nothing but Green Tea shots and sipped beer. I don’t know exactly how many shots we had, but I don’t think it was excessive. I know I was twerking and dancing all over the place though.

So we leave that bar and hit up a country club right next to it; we walked across the street. We stayed there for maybe 20 minutes and I was like “We gotta go, I’m over it”. It was also my time of the month, so the fatigue was starting to do me nasty. It was late.

We get home and I’m fine until I take off my shoes and start to get ready for bed. I literally just start throwing up! I felt more sick than anything!

Looking back, I think the hookah that we smoked got me like that. It set me over, but had such a delayed effect. Suddenly, AT HOME, I was drunk. I threw up once that night and once again in the morning. The day after was freaking terrible lol I had zero energy!

I finally ate soup around 4pm that day and haven’t had any alcohol since, haha. I finally feel ready to have a glass of wine tomorrow. We’ll see how it goes!


6lack Concert – 12.15.2018

One of my best friends told me a few months ago that she got tickets to the 6lack concert: East Atlanta Love Letter.


I hadn’t really listened to his music until she mentioned him, so I downloaded the album on good ol’ Spotify and listened to it. It wasn’t bad! I wasn’t emotionally invested in it, but it wasn’t bad music. Definitely vibing.

I hadn’t listened to the album again until earlier that day of the concert.

So the day finally comes, and we meet up to head to the venue. On the way there, she admits that she listened to some songs earlier in the day and was shocked that she was ever so emotional about it all, haha!

But we both agreed it was still cool music and worth vibing to.

We arrive at the venue and are surprised to get PRIME PARKING. Like, right next to the entrance. Mind you, it’s freaking cold outside and with the wind blowing, ugh. We were dying. 

So up close parking was a huge, shocking win.

We get out of the car to stand in the LONG line and are starting to see a trend of the attendees.


Like not even kidding, some of them brought their moms! We look at each other like “what the actual fuck is going on??”

The line wraps around the block, and as we walk, they just keep getting younger and younger! 

Ok, so earlier, my husband was like “yea baby get them free drinks”! He was encouraging me to not dip into our money and let the strangers do the work; he gets me ♥ 

After seeing the crowd, I immediately thought “There’s no way in hell I’m getting free drinks tonight, no one is of age!” They would literally need to be selling juice boxes and soda tonight! I even FaceTime’d him to prove that these were legit kids here. He was dying of laughter [and probably felt bad].

I realized as we were standing in line that the reason we got such great parking was because no one had a freaking driver license! lol We were laughing so hard, oh my gosh…

I know I’m exaggerating a little bit, but this was some epic stuff happening.

We finally get inside the venue and things are too bad. There were some older people getting drinks from the bar. The line definitely wasn’t long, haha!

We had general admin tickets for the floor, so we wandered around to comfortable spot in the back and sdtarted people watching. These kids wore all kinds of crazy ridiculous stuff that probably cost a lot of money to look stupid. 

It was truly an experience, and I’m glad I got to experience it with her. It turned out to be a fun night, but we definitely learned not to buy tickets on impulse and to research the artist’s demographics beforehand!

♥ // C.S.

A Chocolate Sasquatch Morning

Woke up this morning looking like a fuckin alien. Typical.

I hit the snooze like 4 times, and each time I closed my eyes afterwards, I thought about what I was going to wear. I go in the closet and look for that blue dress. I find it and it has a spot on it, like I dropped sauce from some orange chicken or something. Guess I’m not wearing that today.

I look up and see a skirt my mom gave me. Old lady dress up at it’s finest.

Fuck it.

I grab it and start digging in the baby pack-n-play in our room that’s been filled with clothes for months. There’s that black shirt.

I get dressed, decide on the grey flats for now and heels when I get to work. Hubby wakes up and holds me from behind, telling me I’m “looking like a snack”. He knows how to woo me.

I grab my Stella & Dot pearls and stud earrings and head to the bathroom. Fuck, there’s gold in this skirt and silver in my necklace. 

I tell the hubs, “I can’t wear this necklace, the zippers on this skirt are gold”. He looks at me like “damn girl, fix that shit”. I trained him well.

Into the bathroom I go and start brushing my hair and teeth (not at the same time, but that’d be tight as hell). I tell Hubs about my dream while he watches me and sits on the edge of the garden tub that I never use. Fuck, what time is it??

Out of the bathroom I run to grab some other jewelry, and it’s all tangled! I try to undo the hot mess, but have no luck. Hubs grabs it and tries. Don’t I have some other pearls? Yassss, B!

I tell him don’t worry about the jewelry as I grab some other ones. Of course, he continues to untangle them anyway.

A quick spray of perfume, grab some glasses, my badge, don’t forget your purse is in the living room, phone, kiss the gremlin on her cheek, now gtfo the room.

In the kitchen, I’m trying to find something for breakfast but only manage to grab water.

He’s in the bathroom brushing his teeth and I hear “Dadddyyy…daddyyyy…” in a sweet angelic voice! Ah, my babyyy is awake!

Back to the room now, give her a hug and tell her good morning. Kisses on her warm, chubby cheek just make my heart melt and burst in flames. I carry her to the door and tell Hubs to grab all of my shit for me. We start our goodbye routine, he pries her from my arms, blow kisses, “bye bye!”. Back the car out of the driveway.

Cruising to work, jamming to songs that I ‘can sing’, I’m wondering what I’ll have for breakfast and lunch today. Those chorizo and tortilla egg bites from Starbucks were on point yesterday. Wait, where is my makeup bag!?

I get on the highway and as I’m driving up the ramp, I see this beautiful orange glow. Like, gorgeous gorgeous. Is that the sun?

There are shades of pink and orange bouncing off the scattered clouds surrounding it. It looks like a big ball of fire! …. no shit, Sherlock; it’s the sun.

I look at the clock and realize I need to be a bit more timely and start to switch lanes into the fast lane. Mr. Audi A4, license plate CGW 9607 jumps in front of me! Yea, I’ve got a weird habit of memorizing license plates.

I get in the fast lane and press down a smidge harder on the gas pedal. Yea, now we’re cookin’.

I can still see the sun and it’s beautiful rays like a mad artist painting every car that passes it, reflecting unreal shades of “wow”.

There’s a metro bus blocking the turning lane…and of course I need to turn. I get in the other lane and turn, hoping I don’t see any flashing red and blue lights behind me afterwards.

I pull in to my parking spot at work and am pretty sure I didn’t hit the car to the left. I turn off the engine and happen to look out of my window on the left. omg, he’s in his car. I guess I didn’t hit his car, otherwise he’d be yelling at me.

I take a deep breath, and open the door.

Here we go…

Let’s Talk About Nancy

You ever have that one person, that one person who always seems to say the most negative things? About everything?

It’s like damn B, you don’t need to have an ugly ass personality to match your ugly ass face.

Negative Nancy needs a new outlook on life.

I’ve got a half-eaten Nature Valley bar ready to throw at Nancy’s trifling ass head right now! And I was doing so good, yall, about not being this way. I said I wasn’t going to talk shit about people anymore, but daaaaamn Nancy is triflin!

Is it because I’m younger and Nancy is older, already seen the happiest days of her life, peaked in high school (if that), and now dreads waking up to look in the mirror at the reflection of the biggest disappointment she knows?

Like, what!? Haha, I know that was harsh, I was venting. Nancy brings out my asshole tendencies. Everybody has a weakness, I’m still working on mine.

“Please be with me today, Lord, as I walk through the valley of trifling Nancys”

How do you deal with the people who just rub you the wrong way? Do you have to work with them? Are they family?

The Dream

I have messed up dreams every once in a while, but last night’s was most peculiar. I can’t get the image out of my head! I can’t remember most of it, per usual, but the part I do remember will probably haunt me in my sleep again tonight.

It was my oldest sister (age 36 FYI).
And a man.
Not like that, though.

There was this guy laying on a bed in a corner of a very large room. It looked like a large living room of sorts. I think my other sisters and my mom were in this living room with me. I get the feeling that we all knew where my oldest sister was, but no one said anything.

All of a sudden, my oldest sister’s head popped out of the man as if he was giving birth to her!

Shoulders, breasts, stomach, legs, feet…she was out!

Yall, she popped out of there and turned to us and said “hey, what’s up, everybody”. He gave birth to my full grown sister. Then he started pushing on his stomach, which was now gaping open, as if he was trying to close it back together. We all stared at my sister.

Naked. Glossy with some kind of body juice [gag].

It was like we all knew she was incubating or something inside of him. And we knew it was a daily thing, somewhat of a romantic gesture between him and her where she would crawl inside and sleep there or something, and he would push her out after.

That’s all I remember, unfortunately [or maybe fortunately]. Don’t ask me what the hell it means, because I really don’t have a clue about this one. Take a shot at interpreting it if you want, and leave your ideas in a comment if you’re feeling bold! C’mon. Entertain me.

WTF I’ve Been Up To Lately

So yeah, I’m pregnant and engaged…and still working! What does that mean? I pretty much love and hate my life at the same time. I mean, it’s not that bad, but it could definitely be better [the work part I mean]. I just do not feel like getting up every morning, drive all the way to work, do some meaningless shit, get worn out, drive home, and try to have some kind of energy to take care of the other things in my life. Like preparing for Amora and planning my wedding!

Had a doctor’s appointment yesterday…ultrasound said she weighs 7lbs 3oz…fuck. I will be 38 weeks on Friday, so that means I could potentially have an 8 or 8 1/2 pounder. But get this: at my previous appointments, my doctor was telling me my pelvis is narrow. I can’t say I’m shocked, because my sisters’ pelvises are narrow as well. They had to get C-sections with all of their kids. I was/am optimistic that I’ll be able to push out my baby though. So my doctor ordered this ultrasound for me this past week. WELL, I went to the doctor on Tuesday for my ultrasound and appointment, and she wasn’t even there! The staff said she would be out for the rest of the week for an emergency.She wanted me to get this ultrasound so she could see how big she was and we can make some kind of game plan. Now I’m stuck waiting until I see her again on Jan 3rd. Mind you, my due date is Jan 13th, so we’ll see if I make it that far. Her head is down in my pelvis, but I don’t know if I’m dilated or anything since doc wasn’t there to check me. I could possibly have a baby tomorrow, no big deal.

Wedding planning has been great. I bought http://www.AshleyandJohnny.com so you’ll be seeing some lovely things pop up on there in the coming weeks. We also picked out our wedding bands! Super early, I know, but they were perfect. Fuck, I’m excited to literally spend the rest of my life with the man of dreams. I know that sometimes I don’t act like it [mainly due to hormones] but I am stupid in love with this man. 256 days until we say “I do”…

Christmas was great, as well. Johnny made a perfect turkey that my family and I can’t stop talking about. It was his first time, and it was the tits. I got some lovely gifts and spent time with family; can’t complain there. Oh, and that extra day off from work was phenom.

[I might, poooossibly be addicted to tracking my steps/fitness with this fitbit Blaze. Why is this shit so addicting? I’ve even got Johnny falling into the dark side lol. Do you have any kind of activity tracker or do you just use your cell phone? Or C: you don’t give a F about it?]

Some pictures are below in case you haven’t checked out my Instagram widget on the right!


I hope yall had a wonderful Christmas!

1/17/16 Thoughts

Good morning, punks!

I’m normally not up this early on the weekend, but I’ve kind of gotten used to waking up soon after my boyfriend leaves to work [yea I know that sucks he has to work on Sunday].

Do Yall ever wake up with a song stuck in your head, like EVERY morning? I swear it’s a different random song each day. Today it’s “I believe I can fly” …don’t judge me…

I also think about what I’m going to have for dinner as soon as I eat breakfast haha. I’ll be eating my cereal and wonder what I can make for dinner. Oh, and I got a crock pot! That shit is amazing. I made some chicken and vegetables [you can scroll through my Instagram for a pic probably] and it was oh so delicious. I should put something else in there today. 

Have any good crock pot recipes??


I love this BlackBerry Priv. Been having it since November and it still feels like a brand new phone to me. There are so many cool features and tricks that I’m discovering each day. It also allows me to type like a beast and actually make blog posts more efficiently! All hail to the Priv.

OMG that reminds me of the commercial where the woman is getting ready in the bathroom and her husband is taking a shower. He uses her feminine shower gel not knowing it’s for the vagina! Then he immediately proceeds to do every manly thing he can think of. I died laughing at that!! I’ll post the video on my KPFB Entertainment blog because that is surely entertaining.

Have a nice Sunday.


Dude, we’re halfway through the year! How crazy is that?! And it all started on a Monday…

Today wasn’t so bad actually. I feel productive. Got through work, made dinner, took care of some business. Pretty legit day. Not much to complain about. I’m trying not to complain about much anymore. It’s actually a lot easier to get through the day and end on a positive note when you’re not complaining about things lol.

Sidenote: My boyfriend and I have kittens and they are freaking crazy. They run around, do flips, and act like dogs. We are so blessed LOL. One is named Queso because she’s orange and the other is named Johley. Queso is the ring leader and just destroys anything in her path. She will jump on annyyything and attack. Cracks me up. Johley is just dumb sometimes and will be walking one moment and then just flop to the ground and play the next!

They’re calling me now…and so is my bed 🙂

Good Night.



I freaking had a great day. All day I kept repeating “positive things are coming into my life” and what the heck, they did!

It was like alllll day something GREAT happened. All I could do was keep thanking God and smiling. I’ll give more details later…

Do you ever say quirky things to yourself? Like “you’re a sexy beast” when you’re brushing your teeth?

The Chase

The chase, the thrill. It’s so damn exciting, you spend all your free time indulging in it. You want it so bad but don’t want to seem desperate. You know it’ll run away if frazzled and leave your ass in the dumps. Or if something better than you catches its eye, you’re a non-motherfuckin’ factor at that point.

You tend to it and protect it; make it feel welcomed and comfortable with you. Man oh man, you just can’t wait until it’s yours but you don’t really want it right now. You want to have it without having to deal with it. You put so much energy into this…

And as soon as it notices your advances, shows some interest, and returns the adornment, you don’t want it anymore. Though you made such a sweet, valiant ass effort to hunt this sucker down…you don’t want it.

Chasing shadows in this crooked game of finders keepers; more like finders weepers. What more of a waste of time does life have to offer?

I say fuck the pretenders and off with their heads.

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