WTF I’ve Been Up To Lately

So yeah, I’m pregnant and engaged…and still working! What does that mean? I pretty much love and hate my life at the same time. I mean, it’s not that bad, but it could definitely be better [the work part I mean]. I just do not feel like getting up every morning, drive all the way to work, do some meaningless shit, get worn out, drive home, and try to have some kind of energy to take care of the other things in my life. Like preparing for Amora and planning my wedding!

Had a doctor’s appointment yesterday…ultrasound said she weighs 7lbs 3oz…fuck. I will be 38 weeks on Friday, so that means I could potentially have an 8 or 8 1/2 pounder. But get this: at my previous appointments, my doctor was telling me my pelvis is narrow. I can’t say I’m shocked, because my sisters’ pelvises are narrow as well. They had to get C-sections with all of their kids. I was/am optimistic that I’ll be able to push out my baby though. So my doctor ordered this ultrasound for me this past week. WELL, I went to the doctor on Tuesday for my ultrasound and appointment, and she wasn’t even there! The staff said she would be out for the rest of the week for an emergency.She wanted me to get this ultrasound so she could see how big she was and we can make some kind of game plan. Now I’m stuck waiting until I see her again on Jan 3rd. Mind you, my due date is Jan 13th, so we’ll see if I make it that far. Her head is down in my pelvis, but I don’t know if I’m dilated or anything since doc wasn’t there to check me. I could possibly have a baby tomorrow, no big deal.

Wedding planning has been great. I bought http://www.AshleyandJohnny.com so you’ll be seeing some lovely things pop up on there in the coming weeks. We also picked out our wedding bands! Super early, I know, but they were perfect. Fuck, I’m excited to literally spend the rest of my life with the man of dreams. I know that sometimes I don’t act like it [mainly due to hormones] but I am stupid in love with this man. 256 days until we say “I do”…

Christmas was great, as well. Johnny made a perfect turkey that my family and I can’t stop talking about. It was his first time, and it was the tits. I got some lovely gifts and spent time with family; can’t complain there. Oh, and that extra day off from work was phenom.

[I might, poooossibly be addicted to tracking my steps/fitness with this fitbit Blaze. Why is this shit so addicting? I’ve even got Johnny falling into the dark side lol. Do you have any kind of activity tracker or do you just use your cell phone? Or C: you don’t give a F about it?]

Some pictures are below in case you haven’t checked out my Instagram widget on the right!

 

I hope yall had a wonderful Christmas!

To Reach, To Dream, To Grow

These past couple of weeks, I’ve realized how important growth is to me.

Economically, emotionally, intellectually, physically.

I’m working on securing another job due to the lack of growth and sustainability at my current one. I know how to play with the cards that I’m dealt, but I also know when I need to change decks. The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. I feel like I have more control during the interview and negotiating because job security is on my side. I won’t lose sight of why I’m looking for the job and what I want in a company. I have worked and proven my worth plenty of times at my job. In return, I get more work and responsibilities. While that is fine and dandy, no sane person will happily accept more transactions without more money. I’m searching for that better opportunity to use my brain and be compensated for it.

My boyfriend and I went to find furniture this past weekend for the apartment we decided to get. Though he was out of town yesterday when I grabbed that freshly printed receipt from Mr. Fred for our first pieces of furniture, I felt ecstatic and relieved to be that much closer to living with him. My independence has always effected my life in one way or another. It’s hard for me to let someone help me or even offer to make something easier for me. I feel like I am less of a person, let alone less of a woman to accept such things. Being a Chocolate woman in this unapologetic society has no doubt influenced my sometimes irrational conclusions about some things. I’ve been able to work around that nonsense and focus on the true matters at hand. In this case, it’s me being able to accept the fact there this is someone who will argue me down about how much he loves me and genuinely wants me by their side every step of the way. His excitement about our first furniture purchase together was a big gesture to my ego. Both of us could continue to live on our own, but we have both made the decision that we want to live with each other. I can’t talk about moving with him without smiling. His willingness to do this with me will help us grow in our relationship. We will quickly learn more things about each other, both negative and positive.The uninhibited progression towards the unknown. But I know it’ll be great. We’re actually going somewhere in our relationship. The only thing that could make it better was if he didn’t have to travel so much for work. Though I understand the situation, I fear it’ll eventually stunt or interrupt our growth. I just love him and get scared that every time I love someone, it ends all wrong.

I took an assessment test today during the interview. The math, logical thinking, and reading questions were thrilling! I felt like such a weirdo walking out of there with a smile on my face, because I had been challenged. My brain was stimulated. I realized that since I have been out of school, I don’t really have anything stimulating or growing my mind. I definitely need to find more time to read or partake in activities for mental growth.

Beyond mental growth, my physical growth has been slim to none. I have been through phases of working out and not working out. I guess I can’t really get myself into a routine until the other things in my life simmer down. I have an organized mess of a life right now and am trying to throw in some jumping jacks and push-ups along the way. Not gonna happen.
I know the time will come, though, where I can get myself hunkered down and whipped into shape. I don’t like being unhealthy and feel like it’s creeping up on me. I don’t like the imminent flab on my legs or pudge on my sides. I have a lot of confidence in myself, but it’s always easier when you know what you’re working with. Furthermore, we all know I generally don’t give a fuck what others see in me, but I’d like to be something my boyfriend is proud of or that my friends compliment me on.

It’s been comfortable sitting here eating lunch and posting, but I definitely have to wrap things up and head to work soon. Man, I’m praying and waiting for the day where I can work from home and not worry about bills. I really want to make a career out of music/entertainment. I know I can do it.

Not Too Shabby

Good Day Folks,

Man, I am sweating and tired, yet refreshed! I just jumped rope for what seemed like forever and feel like I really got a good work out! I was researching it, and it really is a great exercise. Burns a lot of calories and makes you feel like a kid again.

A strong, tough, wine-drinking kid.jump rope

How was work you ask? Freaking chill. Got my work done and got the hell out of there. Arrived home just in time for a workout and blog. Nothing too crazy happening except the fact that today is turning out to be an exceptional day. That’s the crazy part. Who has good Mondays these days?

No one.

[I need to go to the grocery store and buy more lemons for my lemon water!! Eff!]

The daily struggle hasn’t been too real today. The emotional struggle is still there, but it’s getting better.
I found out I can end my lease early in my apartment complex if I want to just change units, so that’s exciting. Thinking I’ll take her up on that offer and check out what they have available. I do love my loft so maybe I’ll just move to another loft? But the 1+den is promising as well. Weird that the bathroom isn’t in the master bedroom though, it’s connected to the den.

But the price would be well worth that sacrifice so we shall see. We shall see.

I need to go soak in the tub and get my life together. Hollaaaa.

And In Other News

Coming to terms with some dumb shit in my life is like drinking one of those cleansing probiotic shakes or something. Just poop it all out; rid my body of the toxins. It absofuckinlutely sucks while it’s happening, but the end product is a beautiful and healthier you. Right? Or is that just what they say to get you to buy the stuff?

Either way, I pretty much need some changes. Emotionally. Laugh all you want. I know I know. Yall didn’t think Choco Squatch had any feelings but she does. A lot in fact. Feelings so strong that they cause me to have panic attacks on my way home from work or standing in line at the fuckin grocery store. No joke. Doctor wants to give me meds for when it gets unmanageable. Dude. When IS it manageable? Last time I checked, I was freaking the hell out every other day. These meds are not the solution, hombre.

But yea. Change of pace is what I need I guess. I have to stop neglecting the things i enjoy doing and am good at. That’s when I was happier and overall wealthier. I make more money now than I did before and it doesn’t mean shit, let me tell ya…

More money more problems. Aint that the truth.

I need to go to bed but needed to just throw it out into the universe that I’m not done yet. I have some unfinished ass kicking to give you, ya hear? Lol things have been going good but I know what it really could be. Time to make some shit happen.

Do something strange for a little piece of change.

CS

What The Heck, It’s February

I’m just going to get right to the point (not apologizing for it being FOREVER since my last post…..ok sorry.):

I filed my taxes for the first time EVER! Screw you, don’t judge.

I am in the process of moving and getting my own place! It’s exciting yet troubling, but I know it will be worth it in the end. I can’t wait to walk into my own apartment and be like yeaaa bitchesss this is mine! It’s just a little tough trying to find a place that’s a suitable location AND price. Dang you Houston, dang you.

Uh besides that, I got a new job. Quit that other piece of crap. I was miserable. Underpaid. Over worked. Just plain sucked. But I’m trying something different, so hopefully this one is a winner winner chicken dinner lol

come back to me, readers! Come back! Please continue to comment and share your wonderful crazy happenings!

 

Can we take a moment to talk about the SUPERBOWL, BEYONCE, AFFORDABLE CARE ACT, AND PUPPIES? Haha, I’ve got priorities….

Makeup

I don’t normally post about makeup but I guess there’s a first time for everything.

I recently bought the TrueFit Concealer and its pretty good. I never wore foundation or Concealer before so I’m pretty pleased. The only thing is that I’m always afraid that its going to rub off on someone’s shirt when I hug them or something. And I got a shirt ruined from it rubbing off when my face rubbed against it. Maybe I’m just a foundation newbie but if any of you makeup wearers have tips for foundation, comment please!

Daily Yoga Attempt #1

On my Bucket List, I have down that I want to do yoga every day for one month. That’s going to be a feat! Of course I’ll start with beginner stuff. Maybe I’ll get good and have some cool ass yoga pics for yall.

Doubtful, but possible.

What I like to do all day, errday
What I like to do all day, errday. I gotta get motivated for yoga…

I think the reason I want to do this is because yoga is praised for being so self-rewarding, and I’d love to take part in that. Just as music is rewarding for the musicians creating the music rather than just the listeners. Yoga health benefits? That’s a plus as well, but to be quite honest, I just want to do those sweet as poses! hahaha, don’t judge me.

Sidenote: What’s up new followers? No, seriously, what’s up? You can talk to me. Imagine me as the instant best friend you never had (lmao).. I don’t bite; not virtually anyway. Whether you’re a passerby who clicked follow or you actually read my random shit each day, thanks for the L.O.V.E.

Let me go stretch…hahaha

 

C.S.